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17 March 2007 @ 03:38 am
Faithless Ch. 8  
Title: Faithless Chapter 8
Authors: blu_eyed_demon & agape_eternal
Fandom: 30 Seconds To Mars
Archiving: unfaithful_love
Pairing: Tomo/OFC, Tomo/Shannon, Matt/Solon, discussed Jared/Matt and Matt/Libby
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Language, mentions of drug use,
Disclaimers: We do not know these people, anything about their personalities and do not seek to make any profit from this work. This is a work of fiction and does not reflect the behavior/actions of any of these people in real life.
Summary: Everything’s falling apart at the seams….
Author Notes: We don't own 'em, just like to play with 'em. Part of a series entitled, “Faithless”
Feed Back is love...

Faithless Ch. 1
Faithless Ch. 2
Faithless Ch. 3
Faithless Ch. 4
Faithless Ch. 5
Faithless Ch. 6
Faithless Ch. 7

"Fuck Mike," Tomo whimpers again.

"Shh baby, just a little bit more and then we're done." He comforts his friend as he works, talking about random shit to take Tomo's mind off of the pain.

"You did get weird this morning when you asked me if we ever did anything," Tomo states quietly, suddenly cutting into Mike’s rambles.

"What?" the random comment catches him off guard. "Not this again Tomo, I thought we'd talked about this, do we have to keep going around in circles?"

"Sorry," Tomo says falling completely silent.

Mike sighs. "Why are you so damn touchy about the subject, all I did was try to answer Matt's question, I said we never have and never will...was that the wrong thing to say?" He doesn't understand why his friend's so hurt.

"No Mike, it wasn't." Tomo says nothing else, letting Mike finish his work.

Mike's hands shake as he redresses the SB on Tomo's hip. "Did you see what happened when Solon tried it on with me after I gave him his coffee?" Tomo shakes his head.

Mike informs him on what happened shakily. "Matt went crazy jealous, throwing himself at Solon and didn't take no for an answer so Solon smashed his head pretty hard against the wall." He straightens up, having finished his task.

Tomo sighs. "Poor Matt...He loves him on a completely insane level."

"Doesn't help that Solon’s insane himself, total psychopath actually. You sure you wanna go out there? Stuck in this tin can with a load of crazies for however long the journey is? It's probably best if we keep contact to a minimum, to make sure nothing happens."

Tomo shrugs and sits on the floor. Mike joins him on the floor, crossing his legs and looking at him closely.

"What?" Tomo asks after a few minutes.

"Nothing." he shrugs

"You're so damn weird sometimes," Tomo responds and leans against the door.

"Right back at you!" Mike laughs softly. "You've changed."

"Really? Like how?" Tomo asks drawing his knees up to his chest.

"I dunno," Mike shrugs. "There's just something different, a quality I guess."

"Oh...is that a good or a bad thing?"

"I don't think it's bad, you just seem more confident, you know, when he's not around. And Shannon seems to make you so happy." Mike fiddles with his ring distractedly.

"Yeah, yeah he does." Tomo's pulled his chain out of his shirt and is playing with his ring as well.

"You remember when we got these?" Mike asks softly

"Of course," Tomo says, crawling over to sit with his friend. "We said we'd always be together."

"I said I wouldn't let anyone hurt you anymore...I really messed that up, didn't I?"

Tomo entwines their fingers. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't protect me after I left you baby. Don't blame yourself...this was something I did."

"You didn't ask for it Tomo, you aren't Matt," Mike points out reaching over wrapping his free arm around the Croatian.

Tomo smiles slightly and twirls the ring on this friend’s finger. "You said you'd always love me."

"I do, I will. Whatever happens." He looks down and mumbles, "You're my family: you, the boys, and my sisters. That's all I got. That’s all I need. I love you all."

Tomo cuddles closer to his friend. "I know...I'll always love you too. Nothing can ever change that." Mike cradles him closely, singing softly in his ear.

Tomo smiles and curls into his arms. "I love you...always have, always will." He leans up and kisses him softly. Mike kisses him back, gently rubbing his friend's back. Tomo moans softly. He keeps their fingers entwined.

Mike pulls away when the kiss gets too heated and Tomo's tongue tries to find it way into his mouth. "Whoa, what was that Tomislav?"

Tomo turns red and looks away from him. "Nothing...sorry. I don't know what..." He stops talking and rests his head on his knees.

"Baby, what's been going on with you today?" He gently pulls Tomo back up to look him in the eyes.

Tomo just smiles slightly. "Nothing, really." He folds his arms over his knees and rests his head on them.

Mike looks at him thoughtfully. "You've never tried to kiss me like that before Tomo."

Tomo laughs softly. "Yeah, I know." He continues to play with his ring.

"So, what was that all about?"

Tomo shrugs. "I don't know...got caught up?"

"That's one excuse, what's the real one?"

"I don't know...guess I just wanted to."

"What? Why would you...?" Mike's feeling confused, he pulls away from Tomo, completely thrown.

Tomo stands and goes for the door. "Never mind," he says softly.

Mike catches hold of Tomo's hand to stop him going, he wants answers. "What's going on in that head of yours? I thought you love Shannon."

"I do love Shannon...very much. But I..." Tomo shakes his head. "I don't know."

"If you don't know, how am I gonna be able to understand?"

"I guess I’ve loved you for a long time...you just never noticed and sure as hell didn't feel the same." Tomo's avoiding his gaze, snapping his bracelets.

"You what?" Mike's jaw drops

"Yeah I know...just don't." Tomo stops snapping long enough to reach for the door again.

"No Tomo, you don't get to drop a bombshell like that and then just walk away from me," Mike informs him, standing up suddenly and grabbing his hand again, pulling him back. Tomo doesn't look at him.

"Talk to me Tomo, what else have you been keeping from me?"

Tomo's starting to cry. "Nothing." Suddenly his shoes are very interesting.

"Oh baby, don't cry," Mike says pulling Tomo into his arms. "That's cheating; you know I can't stand it when you cry." Tomo doesn't respond, just lets himself be pulled. "Why did you never tell me? We've known each other since we were 4, you've had plenty of opportunities."

"Because, you’d never feel the same," the Croatian whispers against his chest. "I wasn't gonna risk this...us."

"I'll never turn my back on you, no matter what Tomo. You should have told me." Mike scolds him.

"I'm sorry," Tomo mumbles. "Mr. Ladies Man," he adds.

"Hey, don't be like that. God, I knew that comment upset you last night. Sorry Tomo but it's not my fault I'm straight."

"I know, it' no ones fault," Tomo says backing away from him. He sits on the floor, face in this arms, body shaking from tears. It's breaking Mike's heart to see Tomo like this. Before he's conscious of the decision he's on his knees in front of Tomo.

"What are you-?" He cuts Tomo off with a kiss. Tomo moans softly, letting Mike kiss him. As the kiss becomes more heated, Mike's hands slip around Tomo's waist, pulling him close. Tomo lets himself be pulled, tentatively sliding his tongue across Mike's lips.

"Mmm...Tomo...not a...good...idea." Mike moans between kisses. Tomo knows he's right, but can't stop himself.

"Tomo...not...here...not...me..." Mike tries telling him as Tomo takes control of the kiss. Tomo slips his tongue into Mike's mouth, slowing the kiss down.

Mike moans into his mouth longingly but then pulls back. "This isn't a good idea Tomo, like I told Matt- screwing ruins friendship besides the fact still stands that you’re not a women."

Tomo sits back and smiles sadly. "Yeah, it can. C'mon we better get out of here. I wanna take a nap before we see the boys." Tomo adjust his clothes, paying special attention to hide hard-on he's now sporting as he adjusts his pants. Mike watches Tomo leave, standing breathless, dishevelled and utterly confused for sometime.

Matt eventually walks by. "You ok?" he asks looking through the open door at the seemingly outdone man.

"Yes...no...maybe...don't know..." Mike laughs at himself, but there’s no real humour there.

"What the fuck happened to you?"


"Tomo's just now happened to you? I don't get it."

"He just....you were right; he's in love with me." Mike's fingers trace his lips that are still tingling from Tomo's kiss

"Uh-huh...and he kissed you or what?"

"No, well yeah, but that was before, then he started crying, so I kissed him to stop the tears. Why did I do that? But then I realized what I was doing and stopped it, but...what's going on...why...who...how...?" He shakes his head helplessly

Matt goes into the bathroom, closing to the door behind him. "Ok lemme get this straight...he told you he was in love with you and started crying. You kissed him to make him stop and then realized what you were doing and so you two stopped kissing...is that about right?"

"That sounds about right." Mike buries his face in his hands. "Why the fuck did I do that? Shit...I'm fucking straight, why did that seem like a good idea?"

"Because love doesn't see straight, gay, bi...people do."

"I'm not in love with him," Mike snaps defensively. "I love him as a friend, nothing more."

"I didn't say you were,” Matt says quietly. "But hey, you know what you're doing." He heads for the door, pausing when he gets there. “You wouldn't be so confused if something wasn't there."

Mike looks at him. "Excuse me? What do you mean by that? And who said I was confused?"

"You wouldn't be standing here looking like a train hit you if you didn't feel something a little more for him too."

"Screw you; I don't like guys, not even Tomo. I’m dating some girls back home."

"Stop getting so fucking defensive,” Matt says. Tomo knocks on the door.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to use the bathroom. Matt, Jay's looking for you."

"Excuse me," Mike mumbles as he pushes past them both.

Tomo looks sad but doesn’t say anything. "My fault,” he mumbles to Matt.

Matt looks at him kindly. "He's confused that's all, give him some space and things will be ok."

Tomo smiles briefly. "Of course it will. You better go, like I said Jared's looking for you." Tomo's voice cracks slightly.

Matt leaves the bathroom, finding Jared in the back living room area, staring at the soiled couch opposite him.

Tomo locks the bathroom door and just sits. He kicks the cabinet.

"So fucking stupid," he mumbles to himself. He sits on the floor and rests his head and arms on his knees. He shakes his head at himself. "You should've lied to him,” he murmurs.

He sighs heavily, feelings of guilt for kissing Mike and telling the truth washing through him. Automatically, he goes to find a razor in the bathroom but there's none. In a fit of rage he punches the mirror, shattering it. Taking the sudden opportunity, he grabs the first piece big enough to hold and cuts into his arm.

After so many years, he knows just the right way to do it. Hot tears spill down his face as he watches the blood pool.

‘Why am I so fucking stupid?’ he wonders over and over. He sits rocking for a while before opening to the first aid kit. He quickly bandages himself up, pulls down his sleeve and washes his face. He leaves the bathroom and heads straight for his bunk.

It’s Solon who sees Tomo trying to sneak into his bunk and climbs in after him, pulling the curtain before anyone can see. Tomo whimpers when he realizes who it is. "Please Solon, not now. Please."

He's kissing the back of Tomo's neck. "How'd you mange to piss off your boyfriend?"

"Please Solon, not now." Tomo tries to pull away. Bad thing is his neck is sensitive; Solon realizes this quickly and starts to kiss and bite the other man's neck even more.

Tomo bites his lip. "Fuck, please stop." Tomo starts to cry. "Please stop."

Solon doesn't stop, grinning as Tomo's breath catches. His hand slides to Tomo's crotch and laughs when he finds it's hard. "You want it."

Tomo shakes his head, tears falling. "Please Donnie, please don't do this. Not now, please." Tomo's sobbing, and hasn't even realized his slip.

"It's Solon lack-brain...who the fuck's Donnie?"

Tomo stiffens. "Just get out, please,” Tomo says between sobs. "Please."

Solon's grip on Tomo's crotch tightens painfully. "Tell me." he says his voice a low and dangerous whisper.

"I would think you two are one in the same,” he says softly. "Now please, leave."

"What's that meant to mean?" Solon demands

"That you both do this to people, why I have no idea. Now leave, please." Tomo's still crying as he says this.

"No, I'm not gonna leave till you give me what I want."

"PLEASE!" Tomo begs. "Just please...later? Just not now, please."

"Fine, but it better be good, or there'll be hell to pay." And suddenly he's gone.

Tomo turns his face into his pillow and just sobs until tears aren't possible anymore. His arm is burning but the pain is comforting. Tomo starts to snap his bracelets over the cut skin to add to the sensation. He bits his lip to keep from making a sound and floods his mouth with blood as he splits his lip again. He starts to cry again, hugging himself tightly, knees pressed to his chest.


Meanwhile, down the bus, Matt is waiting for Jared to speak.

"What's up Jay?" He asks.

"What was going on in there?" he asks finally.

"Where? In the bathroom?"

"No, in Teletubbieland, I want the daily news bulletin. Po fallen off the scooter? Tinky-Winky lost his handbag?" Jared sarcastically replies.

"Sorry,” Matt says looking hurt. "I guess Tomo and Mike had a fight or something."

"When I was passing I heard moans, funny sort of fighting. Was Tomo cheating on my brother?"

Matt sighs. "No. It seems Mike was trying to comfort Tomo and things got out of hand."

"And something else got in hand?" Jared asks pointedly

"No Jay, nothing happened,” Matt says. "You can ask Mike and Tomo...though Mike might bite your head off."

"Why would he do that? He seems pretty laid back to me." He glances out the window. "We'll be there soon." He points out.

"I guess they had a fight after or something. I didn't understand half the shit he was saying anyway. I'm gonna let the others know."

"'K," his eyes dart down the bus. "Where's Solon gone?" His question is answered by the appearance of Solon from Tomo's bunk.

"You called?" the other man smirks.

Matt walks straight past him. He doesn’t even so much as glance in his direction before leaning into Tomo's bunk. "We'll be there soon,” he says softly. Tomo just nods.

Shannon gestures Matt over. "What was all that about earlier?" he asks.

"Question of the hour,” Matt mumbles. "I guess they got into a fight,” Matt says. "We're about to stop, so get ready."

"I meant you and Solon actually." Shannon says quietly

"Oh,” Matt says flushing. "Sorry."

"Sorry for what? I just wanna know what the fuck you were thinking, why the hell did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Well, lets see, so far this morning you’ve begged him to fuck you, you’ve begged him to hurt you and then you’ve deliberately started disobeying him when you know what the consequences are…have you gone raving mad?"

"No, It's just...it's hard to explain."

"Whatever." Shannon pushes past Matt, storming over to his baby brother

"Shan..." Matt says weakly.

He turns on his heels. "What?"

"All I’ve ever wanted was for him to love me"

Shannon looks at him closely. "That's really sad Matt, you're married and apparently you've been screwing my brother for fuck knows how long, so why the hell are you so desperate for that psychopath to love you?" Shannon shakes his head. "I thought I knew you."

"You do...but you don't know what it's like Shan, because everyone loves you. You don't understand. I loved Sol first and I thought we'd always be together...it's sad, I know."

"Everyone loves... What the hell are you going on about?"

"Nothing,” Matt says softly. "I'm ranting...just. Go see Jay."

"No, I want to know. Is this some jealousy thing you have over me or something? Do you wish you were me because let me tell you something, my life, on occasion, happens to suck beyond belief or do I have to remind you?"

"No you don't. But Sol wants you...you're all he wants right now...it's not jealousy, it’s longing."

"You know what; I don't want to hear this. He's a rapist and sadist Matthew and you're fucked up." He walks off to where Jared's watching TV.

Matt stands there for a minute before going to his bunk and closing the curtains. He digs around in his bunk for a while and then remembers he's given Mike what he's looking for. "Damn,” he mutters to himself.

"What's wrong with you?" a voice issues from the bunk below his, Tomo's.

"Nothing man, just...looking for something but I remembered I used it up. We're almost there Tom'...you excited?"

"Yeah, it'll be good to see everyone...I know what you were looking for," he says softly. "And I know some guys who can get it cheap, real cheap."

"I can't do it man...I promised myself...and Mike. But fuck it all if it doesn't sound tempting."

"Come, one last fix to help us give up, I need it too. And screw Mike, he don't know shit." Tomo’s absentmindly playing with two chains, one with a ring one it, the other Shannon's dog tags.

"He gave them to me before I went to the hotel room." Tomo quietly explains. "He'd understand because he really loves me, Mike doesn't."

"Mike does love you...he just might be scared of the way he loves you," Matt says climbing out of his bunk and into Tomo's.

"That's crap...look Matt, I need this fix and I'm going with or without you, I just hate getting high alone." Tomo tells him, his voice dipping even lower, his body moving closer as someone moves past the bunk.

"Ok, one last fix,” Matt agrees as Tomo's entire face lights up.

X-posted to 30stm_slash & agape_cupiditas
Blondie_echelon_ on March 17th, 2007 10:54 am (UTC)
Gniiiiiii *bounces* i'm so fuckin' happy!!! it was a looooong time without updates!!! I'm going to read it then i'll do a review XD *bounces*
Jezebelle  ₪ ø Ξ .o·: usemeabusemeblu_eyed_demon on March 17th, 2007 01:23 pm (UTC)
I know it was, sorry it took so long! We've finally finsihed writing it so hopefully the editing and posting process will speed up a lot more now.
Hope you liked it!
Jezebelle  ₪ ø Ξ .o·: bound gaggedblu_eyed_demon on March 24th, 2007 08:17 am (UTC)
lol, you didn't review so am I right in assuming you didn't like this? It does have serious Mike content
Blondie_echelon_ on March 24th, 2007 12:44 pm (UTC)
Awwww not at all!!! I really like it but i forgot to comment ^^' Sorry...

*tries to remember* huuum i still loathe Mike, he fuckin' kiss Tomo => I KNEW IT!!! He's totally not fun and if Sol could loosen him up it would be peeeerfect!!! ^__________^

It was cruel to cut when Mattie and Tomo are going to have a fix *pouts*

And like always i waaaaaaaant more!!! I'll nag you 'til you post like you finished to write it *little tear* Btw, do you need more translation? Because don't hesitate to ask if you do!!!
Jezebelle  ₪ ø Ξ .o·: piss off hetreosexualsblu_eyed_demon on March 24th, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
Hey, ah k. I seriously thought you were annoyed about Mike's actions heeh

You want Solon to hurt Mike, well that can be arranged but you'll have to be patient lmao

The next chapter has lots of Matt n Tomo drug fun, promise.

It'll be quicker if you keep remindingh me, honestly!

Translations? Thanks for the ones you did and they are perfect for the time being :D